If you’re looking to get to know someone, embrace the anxiety of the “date” and enjoy yourself, for there’s really no downside to being vulnerable and upfront with someone you want to get to know. But if you’re looking for love, and you want someone who is going to want the same thing from you, you may want to work on being less vulnerable. And, for the record, hopefully by the end of the night you’ll be on a date with someone who is both intriguing and likeable.
In short, if you’re looking to get to know someone, it’s much easier than if you’re looking for love. So set yourself up for success by being polite, listening, and connecting with the person you’re talking to.
Note: The information in this article is meant to be informational; it is not a substitute for professional psychiatric or medical advice.
Dress Like the Big Girls Do
As a rule of thumb, men should dress in a way that makes them appear more masculine and attractive, while women are free to accentuate the feminine. Ask yourself if you are dressing like the bigger, more boisterous person in a relationship and you might be headed for trouble. Women have a tendency to go for jobs that make them feel good and that enhance their looks, while men tend to get into “respectable” fields (doctor, lawyer, etc.) that offer a better life for their families.
Watch your actions. If you’re looking to get to know someone, don’t show up late, drinking or flirting with other men. If you’re going for a casual date, make sure your hygiene is up to par. And if you’re looking for something a bit more serious, show up on time, and have a plan of what you want to get out of this date. A good rule of thumb is that if you want the person to spend his or her hard-earned money on you, dress like you are not a prostitute.
Act Like the Big Girls Do
Women tend to be more nervous around men than vice versa, but confidence isn’t everything; it is the first thing to develop—and that’s not a bad thing. Take heart. Women should guard against being fearful or nervous; it makes us seem weak. Don’t stay quiet and settle for nothing; it’s hard to relate to someone who won’t express himself or herself. Make sure you are open to what the other person has to say.
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So, You Think You’re Ready?
In case you are wondering, today’s dating scene is different than it was even 10 years ago, mostly because the modern dating world (dating apps, online dating, etc.) has made it so much easier to find a compatible match. In 2011, only 8% of Americans had ever been on a dating site or app, whereas in 2014, that number has grown to 19%. Modern dating apps like Tinder even make it as easy as swiping right or left for a possible match—you just need to make sure that you’re actively seeking out these apps by reaching out to people, and filtering through the matches you receive.
If you’re new to dating apps and online dating, it can be overwhelming—especially if you’re only interested in finding a “friend” first, rather than a real-life romantic partner. However, it’s important to remember that this is the new way of finding love, and if you approach it the right way, you’ll be more likely to find a true match. Below, we’ve provided some tips for creating your profile and using these apps to find a good match.
1. Make Sure You’re Active
A dating app is no place to be lazy and hide your phone (you should be holding it, so it can’t disappear), especially when you’re meeting new people. When you log in to a dating site or app, the first thing that will pop up is your “nearby” friends, but there’s also a “search” box where you can type in the name or initials of someone you’re interested in. It’s also very common to put out a “self-introduction” in which you can answer questions and get to know your new match better. Either way, if you’re anything like me, most people who sign up don’t actually do much more than that. This is a pretty bad sign.
The first thing you need to do when you join a dating site or app is to introduce yourself by typing in the name or initials of your prospective match in the search box—you need to start the conversation as soon as possible. By writing at least a few lines in your introduction, you’ll immediately get a better feel for if there’s any common ground, and if your potential match is a good match for you. You should also provide a photo, because it’s a common courtesy to others to be able to identify you. This is especially important if you are trying to meet up with
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