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It’s important to meet someone who is excited about the same things you are, but most of us are looking for something a little more than, “Hey, you wanna go to the Frick?” “I’m down. That place is awesome. My brother’s a cheese monster.” Although, if this is all you can come up with for your profile, you should probably stay single forever. Also, make sure you have lots of money for drinks. If you’re looking for something more serious, we suggest reading these three ways to get a better picture of the future you’re dreaming about. First, you’ll need to really think about what you want out of a relationship. Dating seems like the perfect opportunity to find out if you can roll with the roadblocks life throws at you, because you’re alone with your thoughts (unless you have kids). Here, relationship expert Gary Chapman shares three questions to ask yourself to figure out what you’re really looking for. Do You Want to Have Kids? Finding an “ideal mate” is a big topic in many relationship books—and it seems like a daunting task! There are so many things to consider, and those are only the obvious ones. Like, oh, you should definitely choose someone with whom you can travel, and you really should be similar in ethnicity, age, education, religion, health, and hair. You should make sure that you don’t look anything like the people on the boat that your significant other is on. And you definitely shouldn’t be a dick to each other. All of these things make sense and seem like a good idea, but are they really the most important things to consider? Unlike choosing a car, for instance, which you should be all about, there’s a huge difference in the outcome of the two decisions. Whether you want to have children or not is the biggest factor in whether your relationship is going to last. So if you’re serious about trying to make this decision, you should sit down with a trusted friend or family member and get their opinion. Do you know anyone who is happy in a relationship with someone that they have no interest in having children with? If so, don’t be afraid to ask them why they’re so okay with it. You’ll be able to have a much better idea of whether or not you want to have children, and what it means for your future. Like, if you’re not a fan of being involved with a group of people who are
The idea of finding someone you like and want to hang out with and build a relationship with has gotten a bit…complicated. While the internet makes it easy to find someone and show off a picture with some suggestive, adorable text, in person, it’s a very different story. We’re hesitant to put our best foot forward, because we don’t want to seem desperate, or the question of what to say or what not to say will be overbearing. But if you’ve been out on the market in the past year or so, you know that there is a change. It’s not that there are more options—or just that they’re more plentiful—it’s that technology is making people more open with those options. Even if you find the ideal guy or girl online, you need to be able to connect. A long-distance relationship is a pretty terrible idea, even if you’re dating in real life and everything is great. To give yourself the best shot at making a real connection, remember some of the following tips, and be prepared to make some moves. Offer a simple, open conversation Consider your one-hour conversation a little more like a date—like a date that ends with sex. If you meet someone online and it’s been a really long time since you’ve been on a real date with a real person, that person is going to be looking for signs that you’re normal. While you may be too shy to jump in and ask these questions, you have some sense of this person: you’ve been corresponding for a long time, you’ve met up once for coffee, and you both seem to have a lot of interest in each other. All of that tells you something about that person. Act as if you and your new match are friends who have been on dates before, even if you haven’t actually done so. Make sure you have a handshake, an eye contact, and something to say—anything you can do to show that you’re not an insincere dater with a dating site screen name. Staying in touch means staying comfortable. Make your likes/dislikes visible While you’re telling your new match a little about yourself, ask for a little bit about them. Do you like Twilight? Are you a fan of action movies? What are you up to with the

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